


Kiss or Be Killed

by Missy



Category: Burn Notice
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Humor, Multi, Polyfidelity, Sex Is Not The Enemy, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 10:42:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam talks out of school about the awesomeness of his lovers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss or Be Killed

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sex is not the Enemy '12.

The trick to being in bed with two people at once was staying as far away from the edge of the mattress as possible. If one of you goes over, you’ll end up taking the other two with you, and that can be a hell of a mess. The only reason me and Mikey and Fi have it down like clockwork is ‘cause we’re seasoned experts in the field.

Yeah, we’ve gotten laid plenty often.

What? Why shouldn’t I get down to brass tacks? It’s an honest life we’re living here. 

Pretty honest.

Okay, it’s kinda dirty. The kinda dirty we all like, if you get what I’m driving at. When you really get Fi going, she can be a maniac, man – I’ve come away from her missing chunks of hair. You just have to know how to push her buttons. Or one specific button, if you know what I mean.

That’s usually my job – mostly ‘cause Mike likes to keep his hands clean – and other appendages, if you catch my drift. He lets me go downtown. I like it there – I’m damn good at it, and she love it. For the record, Fi’s a fast-fast-slow girl; which is good, ‘cause I had fast-fast-fast girl once and sprained my tongue on her. That was a mess, brother – but it was a hell of a fun one to clean up.

So, she likes it when I eat her out. Likes a long, slow, easy tongue job while Mike plays with her tits and kisses her lips. It’s easy, really – I could do it all night like that, watching her scratch and screech at whoever’s in grabbing distance. But she can only take it for so long. That’s when she wants more than a quick feel up and a lie down. She wants action, excitement. Y’know, to get nailed.

That’s Mike’s job. When it comes to slipping his dick in and fucking a girl, he’s a golden God and I’m just hanging around watching the master work like Michelangelo’s brush jockey. Not to say I don’t know how to beat around the old bush myself – I wouldn’t be worthy of Cadillacs if I didn’t. But Mikey’s incredible at it – I’d swear he could rip off that dick of his and make it spin in circles if he wanted to. He makes her make sounds that only howler monkeys should make. Laboring howler monkeys.

Anyway, she’s one hell of a pistol when she’s coming like that. One time she almost bit off my cock, I swear to God – she’s got teeth like a steel trap when she’s out of it. And then she gets all ticked off that me and Mike’re too tired to give her her twenty millionth orgasm and she says we oughta make out for her amusement, and that’s not a half-bad idea but we’re worn right the hell out. 

“If you don’t start kissing,” she’ll say, “I start shooting.”

And what can you do with an order like that, man? It’s kiss or be killed.


End file.
